[H]ardNews 2nd Edition - News You Can Use

Wussies:

Midway's NFL Blitz, for example, has caused a fuss. It allows players to pummel opponents, with little or no punishment, with late and excessive hits. NFL officials have met with Midway to discuss changes.

I think the game should be just like real life as well and this late hit stuff is just giving the children the wrong message. Next year NFL Blitz is said to include arrests for drug possession, wife beating, drunk driving, with Michael Irving to make a an apprearance in court wearing his best pimp-daddy outfitt. Now that will be fun. Thanks Mr. Burns.

Make A Wish:

From its early days as a pet project in the Department of Defense to its infamous time nestled under Al Gore's wing, the history of the Internet is littered with dozens of so-called birthdays. But, as Gore can surely attest, not everyone agrees when they are.

Thanks Iceman.

Somebody Step in Something?

Ottowa - A 15-year-old Canadian boy has survived after falling into an open manhole and being swept away by a stream of human waste.

And you thought you were in deep shit? Thanks Iceman.